The Swordsman Newsletters
|First appearance||The Minish Cap (2005)|
|Use||Provides information to swordsmen|
- "Welcome! I'm selling issues of a helpful adventurer's guide... It's called the Swordsman Newsletter. It's full of useful advice. Right now, you can buy the latest issue for only 200 Rupees! It's a bargain! Would you like to buy an issue?"
- — Marcy
The Swordsman Newsletter is an item from The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap. It is a newsletter available for purchase in Hyrule Town's Post Office; the eight various editions of the newsletter contain tips and tricks on gameplay (an example is telling Link how to find out if a wall can be destroyed by bombs) as well as a gossip column.
The Swordsman Newsletter is first made available when Link fuses a Kinstone with the Postman, which causes Stamp to come up with the idea of making a newsletter. The columns are written by Swiftblade, the newsletter is published (and apparently produced) by Stamp, and Marcy handles all new subscriptions. Each new edition of the newsletter, made available when Link acquires a new Tiger Scroll, costs 200 Rupees.
- The following content is taken verbatim from the game.
Swordsman Newsletter 1
Some Walls Go Boom...
It may look like a regular wall, but it may be something you can blow up. There's actually an easy way to tell. And I'm here to teach you! Build up the power in your sword and start stabbing the wall. If you pay attention, you'll find that some spots make a different sound!
Teach us, Teacher! Monsters got you? Don't give up! Start mashing buttons! You might be able to escape quickly!
Swiftblade's Gossip Column The Magical Boomerang... Somewhere in Hyrule, you can find an incredibly handy boomerang. It's designed so you can change its direction after you throw it! Or so I've been told. But it's just a rumor...
Swiftblade, Signing Off! That's it for our first issue! We plan to bring you helpful questing hints every week, so check your mail! See you in issue 2! Until next time, warriors!
Swordsman Newsletter 2
This Year's Must-Have Item!
Have you seen those sparks that move along walls? Your sword doesn't work, so maybe you've just given up fighting them. But have you tried ALL your items? Like... what about your boomerang? Give that a shot! You might be surprised at the results!
Teach us, Teacher! Monster took your shield? Well, don't get all down about it. All hope is not lost. Beat him up quickly, and you might just get it back!
Swiftblade's Gossip Column The Mirror Shield... A beautiful, glimmering shield capable of reflecting monsters' shots. You can use it to turn their attacks back at them. Or so they say... But it's just a rumor...
Swiftblade, Signing Off! Issue 2 is out the door! We've got our first reader mail! Let's answer it now! "Hey, Swiftblade, what's your best feature?" That would be my eyebrows! I spend a lot of time grooming these suckers! See you in issue 3! Until next time, warriors!
Swordsman Newsletter 3
Got a Bone to Pick?
You're sure to run into more than a few skeletons on your journey. That's why this week's newsletter is dedicated to all you bone- breakers! A good, solid whack to the head should do the trick. That's their weak spot! Try smacking them with a beam from your Cane of Pacci. You should also try your Gust Jar. That head should just pop right off! They go all to pieces once they lose their head.
Teach us, Teacher! Those darn Bob-ombs! If you hit them with your sword, they'll run all over the place and explode! But don't you worry. This newsletter's here to teach you how to cope! Your best bet is arrows! One shot can take them down! You can fire from a safe distance, too! There's also your Gust Jar... Draw them in and shoot them out, and they'll even blow up whatever they hit!
Swiftblade's Gossip Column Light Arrows are amazing... They go through grass! They fell a monster with one strike! They're handy! They're dandy! They're a super-duper-ultra-item! Or so it seems... But it's just a rumor...
Swiftblade, Signing Off! We've got more reader mail this week! "Hey, Swiftblade! How many siblings do you have?" There are nine of us, not counting the ghost of Swiftblade the First. I'm the oldest, but again, that's if you don't count Swiftblade the First! See you in issue 4! Until next time, warriors!!!!
Swordsman Newsletter 4
Seek Out the Strong!
Have you ever seen a golden monster? When you fuse Kinstone pieces, you might get the rare chance to meet one. They're much stronger than the regular version of that monster. Of course, if you beat one of 'em, you'll get something REALLY good! If you see one, go fight it instantly! Just drop everything and go!
Teach us, Teacher! Coping with a Thorny Situation. Those thorny little thorn monsters! Your sword doesn't hurt 'em at all! But if you bump 'em with your shield up, they'll totally flip! There are other ways, though. Flip 'em with a bomb! Or your Cane of Pacci! Or with a well-placed down thrust! How's that for options? Your head must be swimming at the possibilities!
Swiftblade's Gossip Column Remote Bombs... Here's a secret: you can blow them up whenever you want! How cool is that?! Or so it seems... But it's just a rumor...
Swiftblade, Signing Off! I went to Lon Lon Ranch the other day. I saw the ghost of Swiftblade the First defeat a cow with his bare hands! It was kind of sad, really... See you in issue 5! Until next time, warriors!!!!
Swordsman Newsletter 5
Fire Up That Chilly Chump! Have you seen a sorcerer who throws cold curses at you? Yeah, the one who keeps disappearing! That's him! Well, next time he shows up, whack him with your lantern! Fire against ice! It's the law of nature!
Teach us, Teacher! Those pig-faced Moblins... You see them around the Minish Woods, right? They're big and dumb? Well, they're also rich! Beat one up for some quick cash!
Swiftblade's Gossip Column A tidbit about amulets... I hear that there's a mysterious amulet that raises your abilities if you use it! Well, that's what I heard, anyway... But it's just a rumor...
Swiftblade, Signing Off! I went to Smith's the other day. The old guy's still looking pretty good. ... ... But I AM a little concerned about the guy in green tights on the hill there... See you in issue 6! Until next time, warriors!!!!
Swordsman Newsletter 6
Here's What You Do!
Have you seen a monster wrapped in bandages? It tries to grab you? Well, here's a pro tip: bandages burn easily, especially on a mummy! I don't have to spell this out, do I? Yeah, you know what I'm about to say! That's right, it's time to light up their world! FWOOOSH!
Teach us, Teacher! Those heavy-handed Floor Masters... And their irritating friends, the Wall Masters... They're really annoying, but if you beat one, they say you'll be rich!! But it's just a rumor... Don't complain to me if it turns out to be wrong.
Swiftblade's Gossip Column Rupee-stealing nasties... Those Rupee-camouflaged creeps have been ripping a lot of you off lately. I've heard that you greedy adventurers are getting soaked! In fact, I hear that the greedier you are, the more it takes! Or so it seems... But it's just a rumor...
Swiftblade, Signing Off! We've got reader mail again! "Hey, Swiftblade, do you have a hobby?" Training! See you in issue 7! Until next time, warriors!!!!
Swordsman Newsletter 7
For Real Swordsmen Only
You know the Roll Attack, right? Yeah, the one you do midroll! I bet Grayblade told you to attack just as you finish the roll, right? Well, actually, you can do it just as you start the roll, too! But the timing is very tricky! You can do it! Hone your skill! The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step! Or... something!
Teach us, Teacher! Camouflaged shell-shockers... These fiends festoon themselves with grass and rocks to deceive your eyes. But you can remove their camo without trying to pick them up, you know! Hit them with that Cane of Pacci! Suck them with the Gust Jar! How do you like that!? Now you're a camo-buster!
Swiftblade's Gossip Column Those short-fused Bob-ombs... I told you about them in issue 3, but here's another thing... Apparently they drop bombs at a higher rate than other enemies! Or so it seems... But it's just a rumor...
Swiftblade, Signing Off! The next one is our last issue! After that, it'll be time for me to put down my pen. As much as I like writing, I'm a teacher at heart. But I know you'll miss me when I'm gone. I'm like a star! A superstar! Issue 8, the last one, is coming soon! Hope you're looking forward to it! Until next time, warriors!!!!
Swordsman Newsletter 8
The Way to the Sacred Blade
Have you ever wished you could unleash your Spin Attack a little faster? Or perhaps split faster? Or maybe you wanted a longer Great Spin Attack? It's only natural to want these things. Every warrior wants to be his best! So now for some good news! I haven't confirmed it, but there MAY be a way! All of these things could be yours if you only figure out how to do it!
Teach us, Teacher! The one-eyed statue Eyegore... You have to shoot him with an arrow to make him move... But if you beat him, he almost always drops spare arrows for you! So don't you worry about running out of arrows once you've beaten him! Just fire away!
Swiftblade, Signing Off! That's all the news for you! If you get lonely, just come over and spar for a while! And thanks for reading! I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have. And now, let me sign off one final time with that oh-so-familiar farewell... Until next time, warriors!!!!
| Ezlo · King Daltus · Link · Princess Zelda · Smith · Vaati|
—Full list of characters
|Big Green ChuChu · Gleerok · Mazaal · Big Octorok · Gyorg Pair · Vaati Reborn · Vaati Transfigured · Vaati's Wrath|
| Castor Wilds · Cloud Tops · Eastern Hills · Hyrule Town · Lake Hylia · Lon Lon Ranch · Minish Woods · Mount Crenel · Mt. Crenel's Base · North Hyrule Field · Royal Valley · South Hyrule Field · Trilby Highlands · Veil Falls · Western Wood · Wind Ruins|
|Deepwood Shrine · Cave of Flames · Fortress of Winds · Temple of Droplets · Royal Crypt · Palace of Winds · Dark Hyrule Castle|
|Smith's Sword · White Sword · Four Sword · Small Shield · Mirror Shield · Bombs · Boomerang · Bow · Cane of Pacci · Gust Jar|
|Bottle · Flame Lantern · Flippers · Grip Ring · Mole Mitts · Ocarina of Wind · Power Bracelets · Roc's Cape|
|Elements · Kinstones · Tiger Scrolls|
|Deku · Fairy · Goron · Human · Hylian · Minish · Wind Tribe|